Have you heard of power bands? The most popular brand is Power Balance, a company which “blend[s] the powers of Eastern Philosophy and Western Science with Innovative Technologies to deliver products that improve and enhance people’s lives.” Sounds impressive, eh? A power band (described by Power Balance as a “sports performance wristband”) is a silicone bracelet with holograms that “resonate with and respond to the natural energy field of the body.” [Unless you buy one from Lifestrength, a competing company whose identical-looking bracelets create “negative ions”.] According to numerous athletes paid to endorse the product, it really works.

There is only one problem. They cost $30. That’s a lot of money, even if it is virtually guaranteed to improve my life. That why I decided to buy a Placebo Band. It works in exactly the same way as the Power Balance band, with exactly the same results. But it only costs $4! What a deal! I couldn’t pass it up. Now I wear the power of belief around my wrist wherever I go. Shouldn’t you?