Its 4am, so I must be in Japan.

And it’s April, so this must be Yokohama, and the annual Photomask Japan conference. Photomask technology is an arcane but important subfield of optical lithography, itself an arcane and important subfield of semiconductor manufacturing, which is the slightly less arcane and possibly still important business that enables powerful chips to be made so cheaply that nearly all of my kitchen appliances have microprocessors running Linux. I can’t run Linux, but my toaster can. I’m sure my microwave regularly communicates with my dishwasher about the existential importance of semiconductors, and by extension, of photomask technology. This week, I’ll be trying to catch up with what my dishwasher probably already knows.

I am experiencing jetlag-induced early morning productivity – only because there is nothing else to do at 4am but be productive. I arrived in Tokyo late yesterday afternoon. The trip began routinely enough, with all the flights from Austin to Dallas canceled due to a ripple effect of bad weather in a part of the country that I never have been. Luckily, I convinced American Airlines to let me trade in my so-close-and-yet-so-far business class seat from Dallas to Tokyo for a middle coach seat from Houston to Tokyo on Continental. Lucky me. Eighteen hours later I was tired, stiff, smelly and at Narita Airport. After a relatively short 30 minute line through customs, a 90 minute train ride (I love taking the train in Japan – an exceedingly civilized way to travel), a 10 minute walk through a massively crowed train station, and 15 minutes in a cab, I was here.

I have to admit that Yokohama is my least favorite Japanese city. Not that there is anything wrong with Yokohama, it’s just that it isn’t very Japanese. Thanks mostly to it’s long history as an international port, Yokohama is the most westernized of Japan’s cities. Sure, you can find malls and Starbucks and McDonalds and Mr. Donuts everywhere in Japan, but in Yokohama (at least near the convention area) it’s hard to find anything that isn’t generically unappealing. I may be weird, but I enjoy trying to figure out, with my limited vocabulary, how to make sure I get a hot coffee instead of a cold Pocari Sweat (it’s a sports drink) or if I really heard right and my beer costs $12. But here in Yokohama, everyone seems to speak English – where’s the challenge in that?

But not to worry – this intrepid travel has been here enough to know what to do. A short 3 mile walk away is the entertainment district of Yokohama, where authentic yakitori bars and sushi bars and sake bars and bars I that definitely don’t want to go into (though I sometimes have) can be found in abundance. I know my way around pretty well, so I can find my way there and back even if I am drunk and it’s 4am, not that I’ve ever done that.

So if it’s 4am and you’re in Yokohama, come by and see me. If I’m not wondering the streets, I’ll be in the lobby of my hotel, searching for a wireless signal.